Hiya Folks
I've been absent a few days and it looks like I'll be absent for at least a few more. (Thanks Tom for usage of a computer that actually works with a connection that mostly works too) I haven't read any of the 50+ alerts waiting for me, I'm sorry. Hopefully I'll be back before any of you even notice I was gone!
Keep Smiling!
Ted
Before you begin, if you do not have children this will probably be rather dull so you're excused from reading further. If you do have children, this will still probably be rather dull so you're excused too. Anyone still here, the following is my thinking out loud so to speak, it could get lengthy, mundane and repetitive, I apologise. I'm not sure if there is a real point to it all yet, but if you would like to scroll down and see if there is a question at the bottom... feel free to answer it without reading everything in between and if there is no question feel free to think I'm completely bonkers with or without reading everything in between. :-)
So....
Little Boy gave me a note from school last week telling me about a "Meet the Teacher Information Session". It's a chance to meet your child's teacher and learn what is expected of your child as well as the class routine. His school has done this each new year for at least as long as he has been there.
So today was the day. I met Drew at the gate after school and we both walked down to the hall and sat with all the other parents and children. This session was for parents of children from years 3 & 4 (Stage 2) and years 5 & 6 (Stage 3), a couple of hundred kids. There was maybe 50 parents there. It has amazed me to watch the numbers fall as each year comes. When Drew was in Kindergarten nearly every child was represented by at least one parent. Each year since, the numbers have dwindled away. I just don't understand why the interest is not still there as your child gets older. So we listen for 15-20min as a couple of teachers babble on with the general school rules and expectations, excursions coming up and other basic things to expect this year. Nothing we didn't already know, but all good stuff to have drilled into our memory.
Then it comes time to go off to the classroom and listen to your own child's teacher. First I should say I was quite happy when I found out Drew had a male teacher this year. There is less than a handful of male teachers in the school and I think it is good for young boys to have male teachers they can look up to. Besides me his teacher is going to spend the most time with him over the year. I didn't know who the teacher was, apart from a name, or what he was like, so had no expectations. I'm not all that involved in the school community, actually I'm not involved at all. Which is not to say that I'm not involved in Drew's schooling, there is a big difference. So anyway, we get to the classroom, the teacher introduces himself (he's younger than I expected, maybe I should have come down to meet him earlier) and he tells us he doesn't know what to tell us because he was only told 20min earlier that the info session was today. Now when I say "us" I'm talking about 6 parents. He teaches a class of 28 students and only 6 of their parents can even be bothered to show up to find out what is happening in their kids class. (That really bugs me big time.) Not a good start in my books, but he explained he'd been sick all last week and hadn't quite caught up on (been told) what was happening. He asked if we had any questions to start him off and he'd go from there.
About 45min later I'd learnt a fair bit about his teaching style and what it would be like for Drew in his class. The big one was that he's a teacher who vey much focuses on social skills. He's all about working as a class and not as individuals. His discipline methods differ from what I've been used to within the school. They've always had a "non-verbal" method in the classrooms and he has altered that and focuses on the children taking more responsibility. He has also talked with the children to come up with a reward system for the class as a whole. He's not overly concerned with homework getting done or not. Overall he seems very relaxed in his attitudes and methods.
The school has also made a few other changes, not surprising as they have a new principal. There is a very strong focus on sports and fitness to aid with discipline. The whole discipline policy is under review. This combined with the healthy food program already in place is a good thing in my view. They're also planning an overnight excusion for the Stage 2 kids later in the year, which is new and a risk they're willing to take since the interest has been high.
Basically I came out of the classroom feeling positive about how Drew's teacher and how his year would go. That was until I started speaking to one of the other mothers. Her take on our boys' teacher was completely different to mine. She had not a good word to say about him, telling me of the class last year that "ran wild". Saying that he was too busy trying to be a friend to the kids rather than teach them. That he shouldn't be focusing on the social skills but on proper teaching. This same mother also wasn't happy about the overnight excusion planned and told me her son would not be going. (of 97 kids 90 had returned positive interest, meaning her son would likely be 1 of 7) When I asked her why, her response was simply that her son was still "the baby" and that he's only 8 and there was "no way in hell" she was going to let him go.
Now all of this got me to thinking. The schools have changed a hell of a lot since I was there, this whole "Stages" thing has me baffled along with other things. There are plenty of things that I've questioned and had to learn the reasons for and I don't necessarily agree with the thinking on some but I'm at least getting used to them. It surprised me though, how I could come away with such a different view on the same person than this other mother. Is it because I believe Drew will benefit from the social side of things with this teacher, but I believe all the children could. Is it because I'm younger and I'm more open to the changes that have gradually been made (and continue to be made). Drew's past teachers have not worked in the same way as this teacher but I haven't had a problem with any of them either really, different things are beneficial to him at different times. (Or is it just because I'm a single gal and I secretly want to date the teacher.) Ultimately I still think that I hold the most influence over my son and regardless of his teacher I am still capable of educating him to some degree.
The class that "ran wild" last year under the supervision of Drew's new teacher.. They had made it to year 6 (for those of you not is Aus, year 6 is the last of the primary school years, next step is High school) , and his classroom, without knowing where Melbourne was.. (This was told to us by the teacher himself) This to me is totally unacceptable and I do not hold the teachers solely responsible. At some point we have stopped taking full responsibility for our own children. There is only so much our teachers can do for our kids. To me, the fact that so few parents showed up today is just another example of how people shrug off their responsibilities. I don't see why it is any more important to make it to days like today for a child in kindergarten than it is for a child in the older years. If we are not involved in our childrens lives and their schooling how can we expect them to meet their full potential. We are not meeting our full potential as parents by letting them down.
So to any of you that actually read this (or not), how much is reasonable to expect from our childrens teachers? How involved should a parent be in their childrens education? Are social skills just as important as the academics learnt at school?
Lots of other questions I could ask but I won't, any thoughts at all from anyone at all would be appreciated.
[B]UPDATE:[/B]
I did it!! Yay me! hehe Well I spent about half hour on the phone getting more info last night. Then I spent a few hours hammering something out and emailed what I thought was a rough start a little after midnight. Got a call this morning and it was loved! Feeling rather relieved (and pleased with myself) because I didn't want to have to work on it tonight while babysitting my niece.
[I][B]Need your help ted with a poem[/B][/I]
This is the exact sms I woke to this morning.
First of all I am not a poet! I don't consider my "torment" writing poetry, although some of it has a certain rhythm to it. Besides, the sender doesn't even know about my blog. I've written maybe a handful of poems in my entire life and yes I liked them and so did other people but that does not make me a poet. Now not only am I asked to help create a poem, I've since found out that it is to be read at a work function. Not so bad, especially since I'm not going to be connected to it in anyway. But, and it's a big but, this "work" just happens to be within a rather large, rather christian, charitable organisation. Not exactly my ideal audience!
So here I am expected to write a lengthy poem on a subject I have no clue about for the antithesis of my target audience (if I were to write for an audience at all). It is what some would call a depressing topic and yet I've been asked to make it fun and lighthearted.
I think I might need some divine intervention here!
There is a reason most of my friends are, and have always been, male. Meaning I've always had male friends not possible gender benders. I don't particularly like most women, I'm not sure what it is. Which is strange because when it comes to the online world I get along equally well with both men and women. Perhaps that is because I see the online world as androgynous, gender plays little or no role in why I connect with people. Which could follow over into the "real" world and I just haven't met the same calibre of women there.. But I digress...
So I get a phone call on Wednesday night a little after 8.30. I curse on the first ring because I'd just got into the story on this weeks episode of House. I curse on the second ring because I looked at the caller ID and it was a private number. I pick up on the third ring..
Me : (not trying to hide my annoyance) Hello..
Them: (a very cheery) Hel-looo
It is at this point I realise the voice is: a) female and not family b) one I haven't heard in a while and it takes me a few seconds to recognise, and c) upon recognition it was a voice I could have gone without hearing ever again and not missed it.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against this woman, really. I've known her since before she started High School (she's now 22), I went to school with her sister and got on well with her entire family for a number of years. Her eldest sister and I had a falling out years ago, but I still stayed in touch with the rest of the family. I was at 3 of the girls 18th's and 21st's. It's just I don't do the whole female friendships well and grew tired of the incessant bitching. I realised there was really nothing to gain by keeping the friendship strong. We had fun going out every now and then and that was ok.
So we go through the usual niceties on the phone "How are you?" " How's the family?" "What's new?" The last time I spoke to her she'd just had a baby girl, baby is now almost 8mths old. Oh, and she's pregnant again now, 10weeks. Normally this news from anyone would be met with enthusiasm from me. In this case it just brings a slight sick feeling to my stomach.
Her: So have you got a boyfriend?
Me: (slight laugh) No, and not looking for one.
Her: (a sound almost like pity in her voice) Oh really, why not?
Me: I'm quite happy being single..
Her: They're not all bad you know.
Me: They're not all good either..
Her: Oh my husband is, he's so sweet blah blah blah
This is where I feel really sick. I've met her husband once, when we went out to celebrate her 21st birthday. It was an ok night, we went out dancing and drinking and then I was staying at their place, to make the trip home sober the next day. At the end of the night her "wonderful" hubby was in the back of a car with me, while for some reason she was in the other car. He did and said a few things which I frankly told him were way out of line. We got back to their place and as I went off to bed he looked me in the eyes and quietly, but forcefully, told me: "I will fuck you one day!"
I haven't seen either of them since. The next time I spoke to her she was calling to tell me she was pregnant and so I made the decision to keep my mouth shut about what I thought of her husband.
I cut our call short not long after that and assured her we would "catch up soon". Now I have two issues with her and this conversation. That's apart from the one I can't really blame her for, her husband and the fact he's an absolute a*hole and she doesn't see it. I'm sure I wasn't the first person he hit on and I'd bet I wasn't the last.
My first issue though is with her assumption that I was someone to be pitied purely because I was single. I find this is a mindset found in so many women. They feel that you cannot be happy without that other person "completing" you. Honestly, I find that sad.
Secondly, that I am single in no way means that I have something against men! I do not hate men. I do not descriminate. I hate everyone!
This has turned into a much longer rant than I intended and I'm not even sure my original point was made, truthfully I'm not sure what my original point was anymore. But the bloody bitch made me miss House....
Bloody women!
It's taking a toll on me, emotionally and mentally
I didn't realise just how much 'til this last week
For months I've been doing all that I can
Helping, making allowances, changing Little Boy's routines
Not only for you, but mostly for Little Miss as well
There has been very little acknowledgement or gratitude
I fear for Little Miss, so young and helpless
No one putting her needs as absolute priority
I made the choice to do what I can for her
No longer am I doing this for you!
Your total selfishness, untruths and half-truths
An inability and unwillingness to see another perspective
Has become all too much for all too long
I can no longer put your needs before my own
I believe she is in an environment she shouldn't be in
I don't understand why you're willing to allow it
I believe there is more that you're not telling me
I don't understand why you feel the need to hide so much
I wish that I could do more for Little Miss
It scares me that she may continually be put at risk
It scares me that you don't know or care enough to find out
It breaks my heart that I can't do what I wish I could
It breaks my heart to see her going there every time
I don't know how much longer I can stay strong enough to observe...
Little Boy's birthday came and went
The day at the zoo enjoyed by all of us!
He spent the rest of the w/e with his Dad!
I spent most of a day in the City, catching up
A first without smoking, more struggle than expected
Watching others and chatting, relaxing and entertaining
An internet date observed closely from afar
Others watched, criticised, assumptions made and changed
Questions asked, why do birds, why do we, walk the way we do
Speculating about sexuality, relationships and tourists
It's a balance thing, but you didn't fall over!
I needed the escape, thanks babe, xxx
Four Things
Four jobs I've had:
1. Child Care worker
2. office allrounder in a wholesale co.
3. direct sales
4. telemarketer (briefly and I even annoyed myself)
Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. The Tigger Movie - it settles my niece when nothing else will
2. Willy Wonka - Oompa lumpas(sp?) are meant to be orange with green hair!
3. Shrek - okay so maybe i just have a short attention span and like the pretty colours and such.
4. The Rocky Horror Picture Show - there's an adult one for you.
Four places I have lived:
1. Sth West suburbs of Sydney
2. ditto, next suburb
3. ditto, next suburb
4. on NSW South Coast
(I've moved often, just not very far)
Four television shows I love to watch:
1. House
2. Lost
3. Medium
4. L & O - Criminal Intent
Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Brisbane
2. Bathurst - for the race, can't beat it
3. Far north coast
4. ditto but south
(fuck I'm boring, hardly travelled my own country and never been out of it)
Four of my favorite dishes:
1. a sweet chilli chicken & vermicelli salad thing in a wrap (I don't know what it's called I just throw it together)
2. pasta with chilli, oregano, garlic, pine nuts, parmesan cheese and baby spinach with or without bacon and/or chicken (again no name just thrown together with what i feel like)
3. lasagne - yep something with a proper name and mundane too
4. vietnamese pork and prawn rice paper rolls
Four websites I visit daily:
1. news.com.au
2. my blog
3. hotmail
4. ananova
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. bed sleeping
2. bed "playing" with someone
3. drunk
4. meh here's not so bad
Four bloggers I am tagging
1. You
2. you
3. you
4. and you
(the first four people to read this that haven't already done it)
Ok so I decided this 20 would be sexually based, purely so I wouldn't bore myself writing them, lets hope I can come up with 20...
Too much information for some, so leave now if you wish ;-)
41. I have a thing for the outdoors. I'm not sure if this is because my first time was outside (basically in the bush) or what.
42. I can dispel the myth that all black men are well endowed.
43. When I'm in a relationship I will get as much sex as I can, several times a day if at all possible.
44. The last time I had sex, I did something I'd never done before and thoroughly enjoyed it.
45. I've slept with somewhere between 15 - 40 men. I could narrow it down further but meh..
46. I have stopped seeing someone because they were not good in bed.
47. I have been brought to climax in the middle of a crowd of, literally, 100 000 people.
48. I enjoy sex in/under water. I enjoy it in the ocean or a river but settle for a shower as well. There's just something about water.
49. Visually, the female body turns me on more than the male.
50. I'm willing to talk about, consider and/or try almost anything.
51. A nice butt or six-pack is all well and good but for me it is nice arms on a guy, that I find really sexy.
52. I don't have a "type". The people I've been with have been different races, religions and body types. The only commonality would be that they have all been older than me, and male.
53. I have never cybered. People have tried to entice me but it just does not appeal to me. Same goes for phone sex.
54. I like sex in public places with some risk of being caught.
55. When it comes down to it, size does matter.
56. I have been tied up and blindfolded, and have tied up and blindfolded a lover. It heightens your sense of touch, very enjoyable.
57. I would sleep with a woman if an appealing opportunity were to present itself, I wouldn't actively seek that opportunity.
58. I've had 4 orgasms in one session, and more than 10 in one night. (Don't worry, "he" had several as well)
59. I've felt the need to fake orgasms on occasion. Sometimes it's just easier, which doesn't mean it wasn't enjoyable.
60. After 12mths without it, I actually know that I can live without sex. I'm sure I'll get to a point when I don't want to anymore though.
;-)
1.30am Go to bed to get some sleep
4.45am alarm wakes me, I get up, dressed, wait
5.00am send text and continue to wait
5.20am make phone call, no answer, leave message
5.25am receive text "not going today, call you later, sorry"
5.26am curse repeatedly at the absolute selfishness!
5.30am cease cursing, lay down to try to sleep a little more
6.30am still awake, inwardly still cursing, furious this is not first time
What a fucking way to start the day!
21. In the last 6yrs I've met more than 100 people from online (male and female), I've dated a handful of the guys.
22. The last concert I went to was Moby, in Melbourne.
23. Until last year I'd never been on a plane, had to for the Moby concert. (not in a hurry to jump on another)
24. I love to read. I've read some Stephen King and Dean Koontz books more than 20 times, I also have a shocking memory for books.
25. As I've gotten older I've become less concerned with good impressions. I say what I think when I think it. Those who know me well know how to take me and those who don't, learn or not.
26. When I went into labour with Little Boy I had contractions for 3 days before I went to hospital, I gave birth 6hrs after I got there.
27. I did not have an epidural, I had two shots and gas. Advice to the girls/women - no matter what anyone says or what you think beforehand, You DO want drugs, lots of them. Drugs are good!
28. The first movie I ever remember seeing at a cinema was Footrot Flats: The dog's Tale.
29. I've seen the movie Mannequin, with Kim Cattrall, at least 50 times. Sadly, I think I still know most of the script.
30. I have a very real fear of failure. Most of the time I don't let it win, but occasionally it does. My biggest fear is failing as a mother.
31. Last year I shaved most of my hair off. This year I've decided to grow it long again. Effectively I've condemned myself to two consecutive years of bad hair days.
32. I love Motorsport in most forms but especially Formula 1. While I was with the Ex I gave motorsport photography a go, the adrenaline rush that it provided and the thrill of getting that great shot only enhanced my love of all things loud and fast.
33. In my adult life, the longest I've ever been without a boyfriend is 12mths.
34. The longest I've been without sex is, coincidentally, now just over 12mths too.
35. There has been two moments in my life that I have felt complete terror, vastly different events but sheer fear both times.
36. I gave up smoking on the first day of this year after making a promise to Little Boy to do so. So far so good..
37. I accept people for who they are with only one expectation, honesty. Lies to me are a deal breaker and I will not accept them. My favourite saying is "People with nothing to hide, hide nothing".
38. I'm very curious by nature, if I become interested in something I will find out as much about it as I possibly can and that includes people.
39. On Little Boy's first day of school I felt guilty because I was one of the only mothers not breaking down into tears. My mother and sister both cried but not me, I saw it as a good day not a bad one.
40. As far as celebrity crushes go, I have had one for years on both Neve Campbell and Jessica Alba. I'm not Bi but women can be so much more attractive than men.
Ok so there's up to 40 I'm thinking the next installment will be sexually based, just for the sake of it. ;-)
I said a while back that I would get around to doing this. Well I've made a start and got almost halfway. Hopefully they're not too boring for you all and if they are, too bad :-P
1. Ted is my initials. It is what most of my immediate family and some of my friends call me.
2. My parents divorced when I was 5-6yrs old and I am the only child of their marriage.
3. I've lived most of my life in the outer suburbs of Sydney.
4. I took up smoking at the age of 11 or 12.
5. The first boy I ever kissed, my first boyfriend was 17yrs old, I was not quite 12.
6. As a young teenager I was stoned for about 18mths straight. Coincidentally, that is the only time I didn't live in Sydney.
7. At the age of 15 I had moved 15 times. Now at 27 I have moved a total of 17 times.
8. I lost my virginity on New Years Eve, (I was determined to come into '94 with a bang) to a guy I'd met that day, the sex was great and I never saw him again.
9. I have a brother 8yrs older than me and a sister 6yrs older.
10. I did not complete High school, I left after finishing year 11.
11. My first job was 5 afternoons a week in a child care centre during year 11.
12. When I was 17 I was violently mugged walking to the shops for Mum on Mother's Day.
13. I'm fairly sure I've never dated or slept with anyone at all younger than me, ever.
14. I have kissed (more than once) two married men, but never slept with one (that I know of). I knew they were married and knew their wives.
15. I've done a clerical traineeship, which I completed while I was pregnant.
16. I have two younger sisters (18 and 16yr old).
17. I have never had a drivers license, never tried to get one.
18. There is only 1 female (outside of family) that I consider a good friend. I've known her for more than 12yrs and we have absolutely nothing in common.
19. The first time I met my Ex I knew something major was going to happen, but it was not love at first sight.
20. There was a period of 3yrs when I did not speak to my father at all.
Well that will do for now, may put up more in a little while. :-)
Little boy is turning eight in just a few short days
He's growing up, not too quickly, but growing up
I'm hoping he'll go from eight to ten in one quick year
My sis keeps reminding me, nine-yr-old boys are all horrible!
Little boy is not nine and he's certainly not horrible, not yet
What is it that eight-yr-old boys want for their birthdays?
Really, I'm asking you, what do they want? he won't tell me..
I've been asking repeatedly, what he would like for his b'day
To date I've had one response, a book which will complete a series
That's it! What is up with that? Where have I gone wrong?
Why is my child not demanding the latest in game consoles
Why not at least asking for the latest in games for the console he has
No demands for a computer, TV, DVD player or such in the bedroom
No requests for handheld game thingies*, the ultimate in anti-social props
Actually no demands at all. No "blink'n'you'll miss it" fad to dive into
No "must have" bike, toy, clothing, shoes or anything else
One little book and then "suprise me" is all he asks..
Now most of you know I loathe shopping, unless I know what I want..
I like shopping for Little boy, hate wandering aimlessly searching.
I went off to the Mall today, spent a few hours looking and spending
I walked out arms full and quite happy with my purchases except..
The one thing he asked for was nowhere to be found!
Tomorrow I endure another Mall. If only he would ask for more.......
*I had a mental blank okay and thingies was all I could think of!
We've all seen and heard the stories in the news. Well the offending cartoons have been published by an Aussie now, not in a paper as yet but on a blog .. here. I'm not going to mention his name as I don't think he needs the added publicicty. Yes, I realise that my nothing of a blog is hardly publicity but that's not the point. I also realise that I've provided a link to the blog which kinda negates the anti-publicity but that too has a purpose and it is not to become a part of his cheer squad.
Now I'm all for freedom of speech and such. I don't think the News media should be dissuaded from publishing these cartoons or any others. It is a matter of what is considered "news" and what best depicts that "news". I certainly do not condone the behaviour of those against the publishing of the cartoons around the world, with the violence and rioting.
Having said all that and having read the blog entry which has the cartoons in it, as well as most of the comments that it has attracted and then other recent entries on the site. I find myself asking.. what was the reason behind posting the cartoons? It seems to me that the purpose was twofold. Firstly, attention, simple really. Secondly, I think they were posted to incite anger and rage. I don't think freedom of speech has anything to do with it. In reading the comments I was amazed (although not totally surprised) by the level of racism that came across. The stereotyping and generalisation of an entire religion and the pure hate behind the words is hard not to notice.
It is sad that there is so much "us and them" mentality from both sides. It is sad that the so called "race riots" of late last year seem to be just the tip of the iceberg in this country. It is sad that this country is basically no different to all the other western "civilised" countries when it comes to attitude towards people of a different faith and especially Muslim people.
I begin at home with teaching my son tolerance and acceptance for all people. It is not race or religion that stands a person apart. It is the ugly side of people, the hate, anger and bigotry which should not become acceptable. Sadly it appears we are going backwards in that respect.
I've sat here staring at the empty screen, don't know how long
Thoughts flashing only briefly through my mind, disappearing
Emotions running freely for days have all gone quiet, hiding
The fears and the pain, the joys and anticipation merging, nothing
Words that haven't been shared with anyone recently, gone
Yet the need to "purge" remains, ability however does not
Haven't got much time to sit today
A couple of you asked if I was alright
My answer to one, "I'm always alright!"
Which is kind of true, I just have to be!
So thanks for your concern guys
I'm a little down and out, but I always get up again!
It's amazing that I can still give you too much credit
I made an assumption, logical it seemed to me
Yet again your selfishness has blown me away
I sit and shake my head in disbelief, not shock
I should have known better, been more prepared
It is only a positive for me, I'll make the most
Plans are already being put into place, we'll enjoy
