Sleepy Head

I got up Sunday morning at 7.30am, still drunk I think

I put my boardies on and headed almost directly to the river

Light rain was falling and mist was rising from the water

There was no noise, except the birds, and no people, quiet and beautiful

When I dived into the water it brought back so many memories

I was laying in the water watching the ripples from the falling rain

Remembering when I would swim some mornings before I got ready for school

People thought I was mad to dive into the water that early, especially in June

It was such a great way to wake up, I'm not a morning person usually

I remembered the bus trip into school those mornings years ago

So many things change and at the same time so many stay the same

The river, the rock I dived from, the sandy beach on the other side, mostly the same

But I'm not who I was then, I've grown up and changed, with a child of my own

I guess I haven't changed completely, the swim was the best way to wake up

It washed the sleepy cobwebs from my head, leaving me with only a slight hangover

Some Things (men) Never Change

Little boy and I stayed at my Dad's place down the coast from Wednesday through to Monday. The occasion was my little sisters 18th birthday. (My other little sister had also just turned 16.) I've been going down there for about 20 years, so I'm not quite a local but I know many locals and have done for a long time.

One such local (I'll call him FF) came up on Friday to drop off a few things for the party. This guy is 50, he'd like to think he was still 30'ish. I've known him for as long as I can remember. He's the type of guy that I would see now and then and each time he'd have a new girl hanging off his arm. He's a musician and admittedly, maybe doesn't look his age, and definitely doesn't act it. You can imagine the girls I'd met over the years.

So anyway, he arrives. I was laying on the lounge trying to keep my eyes open (we'd been out the night before, I was tired) and Little Boy was running around doing what little boys do, playing with cars in the dirt mostly. I didn't get up to be sociable, it wasn't necessary, Dad was making the cuppa. As I dozed on the lounge I heard this conversation in the kitchen:

FF: So Ted's down for the party eh?

Dad: Yeah

FF: is she single?

Dad: ahh yeah, oh well I think she's got a bloke..

Little boy wanders in from outside

FF: And this must be Drew, well, don't you think I'd make a good Dad?

Drew: I've already got a Dad!

Little boy wanders back outside to the sound of my Dad chuckling and me boiling over in the lounge room

I couldn't believe the hide of this man. To speak like that, and to my son no less. I heard them go outside and as I was seething with anger I gave up on the nap. I grabbed a smoke and headed outside, only to find my Dad and FF still standing around chatting. As I walked out...

FF: G'day Ted, so you heard I was single and came down to check me out eh?

Even when I was a child of no more than Little Boy's age, I knew this guy was a creep. Some things really do never change, he still makes me cringe.

Particular Order No

Little Boy and I endured the five hour trip

Definitely worth it for the peace, quiet and party

Pub crawl brought back memories of days gone by

You're not in the "City" when pubs close at midnight (or ten)

Various wildlife sightings kept Little Boy enthused (not in the pub)

Little sis carried herself well, impressed all, undid it two days later

Old and new faces, young and old converged, a real "river party"

Drunk sixteen-year-olds shared the love, rolled in the grass (innocently too)

More drunk eighteen-year-old spat the dummy and wandered off

Older and "wiser" were just as entertaining, falling far and carried away

Strangers became friends, friends became strangers, almost all with a smile

Recovery followed, with holes in the memory filled and perhaps embellished

Of course, in my case, my behaviour and antics were only of the highest calibre ;-)

Blink

Okay I just stumbled in the door here

Been away for an extended weekend

Have to run out with Little Boy for the afternoon

Will be back to set-up and check out who's here

Thanks Bitzky and Dani for leading me here!

:-)

Edit: Oh this is too easy, so far

I wish I had an hour to sit still

Random Snippets

I made the call, it was answered

So good to hear the voice, happy!

Got a message not long after, unrelated

Real coffee and cheap ciggies, almost home!

Can't wait to catch up properly, soon!

Spent day out, filling in and catching up

Big sis is back and the shit will hit the fan!

Getting organised, washing, packing, excited!

Even a few days away is eagerly anticipated!

Yawn

It's late and I'm exhausted

A very long day has come to an end

It's hard work biting my tongue so often!

I've had a "purge" over here

Perhaps now I will get into my rhythm

Now, I'm off to the land of nod!

So I'm trying on this new outfit

It feels a little scratchy and uncomfortable

Hopefully I'll have it feeling right soon!

Consuming

These last few days have been full on

I'm exhausted physically and emotionally

I worked the last four days around my brother

Dragged Little boy back and forwards

Put my own plans and needs on hold

Only to play housekeeper to a grown man

I played house with a child, in a home that's not mine

I couldn't get out and back home quick enough

Terrible as it sounds I was happy to hand the child back

I'm disappointed with the outcome of yesterday

But I can no longer speak my mind freely

I'm worried of what is yet to come, we can't predict it

I'm sickened by some of the actions and some of the words

I'm saddened that either of them have to go through the shit

I'm unable to allow myself to feel as strongly as I do

I'm making myself take a step back emotionally, vocally

I can not open another person's eyes, nor make his move

He must remove the blinders and take his own steps

I hope he doesn't leave it too late and the cost is not too high!

Family Matters

Last night we had dinner at my mothers place, not unusual

My niece was put to bed and Little boy lay on the lounge

The four adults in the house were left to do what they had to

We each sat in various places around the house

Each of us in front of a computer, typing away madly

Interuptions were rare, until one of us was unsure of a date or spelling

10pm came and went, only one computer had been turned off

Three adults sat typing madly and one sleeping soundly

Midnight came and went, Little boy rolled over, off the lounge

It was almost 1am when I happily announced that I was finished

I handed Mum Little boy's bag as I carried him out to the car
[I]
"My shoes are over there, and my homework is here"[/I] he pointed and mumbled

At home he insisted on changing into pyjamas before getting into his own bed

He woke this morning and came into the bathroom to chat while I was in the shower

[I]Him: "I sleep walked last night Mum!"

Me: "When?"

Him: "Going out to the car"

Me: "Darling, I carried you out to the car"

Him: "ooohhhh.. well I didn't sleep walk!"

The phone rang, he ran, answered it and came back a minute later

Him: "Granny wants you to give her a quick call back"

Me: "Is she at work already?"

Him: "I don't know, but it's not going to be a quick call"

Me: "Oh why not?"

Him: "You never have quick calls with Granny!"[/I]

He was pretty much right...

Intensity

It's no secret, I haven't had a fuck in a while

I came to a realisation this past week

Even in my ever increasing state of horniness

I still have (some) standards which must be met

I'm not sure if I'm proud of that or annoyed

I'm in kind of a catch 22 situation in my thinking

I don't necessarily want a relationship with someone

But I don't want to just fuck the next bloke I meet either

I've always enjoyed sex (over and over again usually)

This extended period of none is slowly driving me mad

Yep, I know you didn't need to know any of this, carry on!

Disappointed

I started an entry the night before last

I was happy and proud of the action of others

I didn't finish it, as it turns out it was pointless

Those bold and brave actions were short lived

I believed that it was the right thing to do, finally

Yet the decision was made in anger and fear

After cooling off, the decision changed, backed down

If something is worth fighting for nothing should stop you

No one else's opinion should change your own thoughts

Voice your point of view and stand up for it, for once!