Surviving the Days ... and the Weeks and the Torment.


Words I write don't necessarily make sense to you... I don't expect them to, maybe I don't even want them to... The thoughts are written fragmented and incomplete! I do not write for any form of external validation.. What you read may not have the same meaning as what I write... But do not underestimate the personal significance of my words! An essential part of who I am is only evident in my writing... It had been locked away after it was used against me... Everything you need, in order to hurt me, is right here!

Monday, November 27, 2006

A Rant in History

So this is the headline that caught my eye today, Premier, MPs fail test of history. The story stems from the findings of a recent report.

"A report commissioned by Australia's education ministers has found most high school and primary school students lack understanding and basic knowledge of Australia's history and constitutional structure."


Well it seems this isn't too hard to believe when even (some of?) those who ordered the report struggled to answer even a basic question on our history correctly. From my own experience I know that during my school years Australian History did not feature all that prominently. Even in my high school years, when I studied Modern History as an elective subject, Aus. History was one of two topics we could as a class choose to study and as the final decision came down to the teacher it was not what we were taught as he decided it was "too boring". Mind you the version of historical facts taught in those days was not completely accurate (we were still under the teachings that Cook was the first European to discover our land) and lacked severely when it came to history of our colonisation, or as some would say, the invasion of this country. From my understanding we have moved a couple of steps forward in that regard, not nearly enough though in my opinion.

Anyway on reading this story I decided to give Drew a mini pop quiz and see just how much he was picking up on our country's history and political workings, keeping in mind that the children used in the aforementioned report have a couple of years on him.

Do you know why we celebrate Australia Day and what happened on that day?

To tell how long we've lived here. That's when Arthur Phillip came to Australia with the First Fleet. They came here with all the convicts to make a nice settlement here.

Who is our Head of State?

Oh I know, The Queen, Elizabeth.

Who is our Prime Minister?

Now? John Howard. The first Prime Minister I'd have no idea.

Who is our, NSW, Premier?

Kim Beazley, oh no it's Morris Iemma

Why do we celebrate ANZAC Day and when is it?

I can't remember what day it is but I know why. I think it's 26th of April (me - nope it's the 25th, so why do we celebrate it?) we celebrate it like for remembering all the people who died at war. (Me - do you know what happened on that day a long time ago?) uhh no, tell me please. (I gave a brief description of the Anzac’s landing near Gallipoli) That sounds very sad Mum.

Who is our Governor General?

Uhh Governor? for what I don't understand. (me - that's okay I can't remember his name at the moment either)


For an eight year old I don't think he did too badly. The thing about all of that is that I know it has been me to teach him most of it, of course the school has taught a little but that's mostly reinforced what he already knew. I remember sitting down at Circular Quay with Drew when he was just 3-4yrs old. We sat there for a few hours with him asking me the names of all the ferries and boats coming in and out of the harbour, he was anxiously waiting for the ferry with his name on it (yes there is one with one of his names). On seeing a Captain Cook cruise boat he asked who Capt. Cook was and received his first history lesson. My mother was delighted when she called, while we were still sat there, and spoke to him on the mobile asking who "discovered" Australia, where the First Fleet sailed in and settled and in what year. Drew was in awe that boats had sailed into this harbour all those years ago and that there were no buildings.

Quite a while later, when Drew had started school, I picked him up from kindergarten one day and remember the following conversation:

Me: Did you have a good day?

Drew: Yes, I got a question right.

Me: Oh that's very good, what was the question about?

Drew: The teacher asked us who Captain Cook was and I was the only one who got it right.


He was so proud of himself, and the subsequent merit award he received for those particular efforts.

He has also risen in the very early hours of the morning of April 25, and travelled into the City with my mother for the dawn service. Obviously in doing this it raised a lot of questions in his mind as to just why he was doing it. They were questions he had answered.

I guess what I'm trying to say, in a very long winded way, is that a child does not receive their entire education within the school grounds and nor should they. Of course I believe they should be taught our history, an accurate one at that, while they are at school (along with a lot of other things which aren't always done to our liking) and they should be taught how our government works and how it was put into place. But we as parents should have all of this information too and be able to share it (not to mention in order to make informed voting decisions etc). Children are naturally inquisitive and if they are given real answers to the questions they ask it will inspire more questions. In my opinion, part of our job as parents is to keep that inquisitive nature alive and well fed. Many times I've been caught off guard and Drew has asked a question that I simply have no clue of the answer, so if it is at all possible I find it for him. Too many people it seems avoid real conversations with their kids, which to me, makes them just as responsible as the schools, if not more so, for their kids ignorance.

In Motion

I think I need to "purge" my thoughts

But I don't think now is the right time

I'm a little worried what would come out

Much has been on my mind these last few days

With only a little to go on, I worry about you

I'd finally trained myself not to wonder so much

I'd settled on hoping for the best for you

I'd tried to let the anger, hurt and resentment go

I'm no longer angry although it does still hurt

Mostly I'm sad that I wasn't allowed to be there

Now I just wait and hope for some of what was before

Friday, November 24, 2006

Clearing Head

Knocked a little off balance

I write for a reason, for me

But each "you" is someone

Few of them read these words

Today the right one read the right words

I'm a little shaken yet extremely grateful

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

36

I hope today someone made you feel special

I hope you feel that every other day too

With everything you are; you are unique

You deserve the best in life and all that you do

Your hopes, your dreams, your desires

Live them and be all that you can be

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Six word story

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Must have.
Lost.
Rise above.
Live.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Vent (excuse the language)

I fucking hate having to think about this

It shits me big time that I'm the one doing it

It's not like you're fucking stupid, or have an excuse

It's not even just one of you right now, there's two

Neither of you even appreciate anything I've done

It's taken for granted that I'll sit back and take it

Is it so fucking hard to act appropriately

Even if you were just a little grateful I'd not be so pissed



Okay I feel a little better now...

It still pisses me off though!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Fleeting Feeling

There are times when I just think too much

Too much about what I should be doing

Too much about how I should be feeling

Too much about where I should be heading

All this simply takes me back to where I've already been

To what I've already done and what I've already felt

Leaving me with only what I am, what I do and how I feel

It doesn't feel like enough to be me, here now

The lights have all gone dim on the path I followed

I'm left in the dark again not knowing which way, or even if I turn

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Back at it

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Playing catch up now

Getting stuck here and there

Being told to hurry up

Brief procrastination

Reminding myself why

Thursday, November 02, 2006

NaNo NoNo

Okay so my NaNo attempt has got off to an extremely slow start. It didn't help that I had no idea what I was going to be writing about until the hour was upon me to start writing. My biggest problem was Rose and her story (which is much bigger than the draft I'm putting here it seems). I was so stuck on her and where I know she's going, there was little room for a new idea.

Now at least I have a vague idea of where my story begins and where it will head, it's just a matter of getting it down. So far, life has got in the way of that part quite a bit. As a result I'm barely off the mark. Having said that, I'm still excited to see if I can do this, even though I'm expecting the story to be rather crappy.

My first week is going to be an absolute shocker, but I plan on making it up after that and I'm definitely not giving up! So many times I start things and fail to finish them for various reasons, the biggest of which is the fear of failure itself. I think I'm doing this simply to prove to myself that I can!

Apologies in advance if most of my posts this month revolve around NaNo, but I'm determined to focus.

Keep Smiling folks! :-)