This entry will no doubt be long and boring for you lot but I'm writing it for my own benefit so too bad hehe I need to get back to writing something, anything and here's as good a place as any to force myself to do it. Besides I need to get some little bits down just as little memory joggers. I was always going to write the "camouflagation" entry but didn't get around to it so I'm making the point of doing this one now...
I'm home, for a few days at least. I'm enjoying this summer break even with all the comings and goings. The two weeks of xmas and New Year were rather hectic but for the most part in good ways. Drew was away for most of that time and when he came home on the first it was only for the night and we both left for my Dad's the following day.
I enjoy taking friends with me when I go to my dad's, especially their first time down there. It is a voyeuristic pleasure I get from seeing them experience the "culture shock", for want of a better phrase. No electricity, no mobile phone service, no computer or internet access but inevitably the biggest shock for most is no flush dunny.
This time around it was my friend-landlord-p/t employer D (really must think of appropriate title for her) and her 2yr old daughter who made the trip down with us. D had been looking forward to the get-away for weeks and was happy to be on the way. The drive down the coast was pleasant enough, if you take out the couple of times we had to pullover on short notice for my darling boy to spill his guts. We made it into "The Bay" and I stood in Maccas for 20min amid the lunchtime rush of tourists squashed on top of each other in some form of a queue (as it turned out the fryer had fucked up at the beginning of the lunch rush which explained why the "fast" food giant was crawling along on it's belly). After watching people order mountains of shit and walk away with multiple trays it came to my turn and I ordered just one thing, a Big Mac. You know why I stood in line for 20 min for one bloody burger that I personally think tastes like rubbish? Because my father has a very strong and unhealthy desire for said burger on any possible opportunity and our next stop was his workplace 25min down the road in "town" (Moruya), which happens to be one of the few innocent places as yet untouched by any of the evil fast food giants. And so, we made it to town and I introduced D to my Dad at work and handed over the still warm burger... ok maybe I just wanted to be the favourite daughter for just one day.
We left Dad at work, dropped in to Woollies and grabbed a few essentials and headed "up river" to my second home. I've not always had the opportunity to see my friends reaction blow by blow as they make their way up river especially during daylight hours. Half the time it is dark by the time we get there and on other occasions friends have made it down on their own and I've been there waiting for them. I must say D proved to be the most entertaining so far. On sighting the upcoming dirt road she emitted squeals of delight and trepidation amongst "oh my god", "I'm scared", "I love this" and various other very short sentences. The squeals and short sentences did not stop and neither did my laughter. I was ordered to take photos (like the one above) so that D could show her husband what he was missing out on. D's mobile managed to stay in range long enough for her to receive a phone call from her teenage daughter (who was staying with her father for a few days) asking when she would be home and uttering her disbelief that we hadn't even got to our destination yet. After about five relatively slow kilometres* of dirt road D asked "are we almost there now?"... She really hadn't understood the "27km out a dirt road" part I'd repeatedly told her.
D professes to "love camping", she goes annually with a friend and their combined families to a camping ground in a coastal town an hour or so south of home. But she's also petrified of spiders and anything that crawls with six or more legs. I was a little worried about her freaking out camping at my Dad's if she happened to see a spider or some such (there was a pretty damn good chance of it). I also worried that snakes may have an even bigger reaction from her and being summer and in the middle of nowhere I also thought there was a good chance she'd see at least one. I had voiced this concern a week or two beforehand and was surprised by the reaction. D actually wanted to see a snake, out of pure curiosity as she'd never seen one "in the wild" before. Apparently the image of snakes on TV or seeing them in a zoo don't make her squeamish and she wondered if she'd be scared. Mind you, her husband on the other hand had forbidden D to camp with their daughter while away with me because he was scared Little Miss would get "eaten by a snake".
So as we continued up the dirt road D's awe continued, she handled the actual driving well and continued to amuse me with her joy and excitement of just being there. Distracted with the camera to my face trying to get the photo's D requested, her hard braking took me by surprise, though not as much as her sudden elevation in excited squeals and screams this time with the word "snake" thrown in there. The snake had slithered off the road by the time I knew which direction to even look but it took several minutes for D to settle down enough for me to ask her what her first impression of seeing a "real live snake in the wild" was... It scared her, even with the safety of the car between it and her.
We made it up river and D met my stepmother, Curly, as well as the friends who were also camping. Within just a couple of hours of being there D's husband had called the house, since he discovered the mobile wouldn't work, several times checking up on her and his daughter. D loved the house which Curly had built almost 30yrs ago (with the intention of living there alone) and as nine of us sat around the table finishing off dinner at 10 that night the phone rang again. We were all absolutely convinced it would again be D's husband and as such my Dad chose to answer it with a gruff; "This better be fucking good ringing me at this hour!" which after a short silence on his part was followed by a feeble "Oh hello J", my sister clearly heard our laughter from her end of the phone...
D only stayed a few days but she provided a shitload of laughs in that time simply because she speaks whatever it is that comes into her head. She camped close to the house, just behind the pile of Hakea which none of us felt the need to tell her was the one most likely home for a reptile close by. She spent a little time looking for the "flusher" on her first trip over to the dunny, even yelling out to make sure she wasn't missing it. My sister and I wondered just how deep she thought that hole in the ground was... On her first morning she asked where the toaster and the kettle were to get herself a cuppa and Little Miss some breakfast, she looked a little bewildered when she was answered only with laughter, the wood stove hadn't yet been lit... She enjoyed the river and the surrounds as well as my sister's growing array of "farm" animals. I enjoyed giving her that experience almost as much as I enjoyed poking fun at her.
