Behind the Mask

I cried myself to sleep last night, something I haven't done for a while

My best friend called yesterday, catching me up on all that's happening

He sounds happy, so I am of course extremely happy for him

I also wrote a letter to another friend yesterday and put it in the post

Little Boy was tucked up in bed and I had a chance to sit down, and think

It occurred to me that I've been gradually sliding back down

At that moment I realised how alone I felt and had been feeling

Not exactly lonely, I don't want a new lover or relationship

I just feel so alone! Not only feel it, I know that I am alone

I also know that it's a result of my own actions and insecurities

I, for the most part, refuse to allow people to get close

Of course I have my family, but they don't have what I'm missing

My best friend still remains there for me, but he doesn't have it either

Something is missing within my own heart and I really need it back

I need it so that I may climb out of this hole and back into my life!