Off on a rant

It's been a long time since I've had a rant about anything in blog form. It's not that nothing has fired me up but I just figure there are plenty of other people who rant so much better.

In the last few days I've read three separate stories which have got under my skin.

For those not wanting to click away, the first is from Poland where a 14yr old girl hung herself with a skipping rope after being stripped by several boys in front of her class and having them simulate raping her. All of which was filmed on someone's mobile phone.

The second story is from here in Aus., and is about a DVD which was being sold in several Victorian schools. The DVD was made by and featured up to a dozen boys (16-17yr olds) who, amongst other things, filmed their sexual assault on a developmentally delayed 17yr old girl.

The third story has hit the headlines here today and features quotes from a Sheik. apparently from an address he gave last month during a Ramadan sermon. One of the quotes:

"If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden or in the park, or in the backyard without a cover, and the cats come and eat it ... whose fault is it, the cats or the uncovered meat?"

The Sheik is comparing the "uncovered meat" to women. There is some debate over the context of these lines and others. The initial headlines were referring to rape, others are saying he was merely talking about sex outside of a marriage. (If you ask me, the context is almost irrelevant as his whole view of women is pretty fucked up.)

Okay, so there we have the three stories. So many things disturb me about all of these stories. It saddens me that these are just three stories and yet I know there are countless others from here and around the world. Sexual assaults happen far too regularly in this world. I'm wondering what we are doing about it.

I look at these stories as a woman who has been raped and also as a mother raising a son. We have children failing to be taught respect for women, or just all people. Our children are failing to be taught anything about sex and what it means. What are we teaching our children for them to think that this behaviour is acceptable? In the case of the boys who made the DVD, there were some parents who were aware of it's existence, and it's content, and they did nothing about it (at least until the media got a hold of the story and ran with it) because they put it down to nothing more than a bit of a joke. Then we have a Sheik speaking to the muslim community in this country and basically giving men an excuse, because the women are just a piece of meat offering themselves to the animals. Is it any wonder we've had several high profile rape, and gang rape cases against young muslim men who have then tried to use their culture as a defense. At this point it doesn't seem to matter what religion or race you are, the values of sex and women* are simply not being learnt.

My son is not yet of an age where I have to worry about sex but when he is, will all that I teach him be enough? With so many conflicting messages from society and the community will he be able to decide on the right messages? Children are commiting these sexual crimes and thinking nothing of it. Other children are standing by and watching these crimes, saying nothing and that is not okay either. Yet more still are watching the films of these crimes online or buying a $5 DVD in the schoolyard and thinking that they're not as bad, they're only watching afterall. Parents are finding out and sitting back, doing nothing. By doing nothing we are saying that it is okay, that it's no big deal and it doesn't matter.

I for one think it does matter. It is not okay to sit back quietly and think, that simply because it is not your son committing the crime, that it is just a bit of a joke. I can tell you that being raped is never a joke. I can also tell you that it hurts just as much when other people dismiss it as "nothing".

I hope that I can teach my son all the values that need to go with sex and respect for women and that other parents start taking responsibility for what their own children are taught too.


*before anyone mentions the reverse, assaults on men, I'm not dismissing them entirely I'm just not in the position to comment with limited knowledge.