Grandparents - Part 1

I've tried to think of 5 things to say about each of my grandparents (for the meme style entry) and haven't been able to come up with anything of real interest. Which got me to thinking about my grandparents in general. Some people have very close relationships with their parent's parents, but I can't claim that.

I have a few fond memories of my father's parents, or at least their old house. On further consideration though I think that has more to do with the location and the gathering of my many cousins when we were all young children than it does my grandparents. My paternal grandmother, Dulcie, is a very kind and giving woman, I love her dearly. She lived with her husband for many years in a house directly across the road from a beach, in a small coastal community. I remember visiting, along with all of my cousins, and feeding the birds in the front yard. We would put birdseed in our hands, sometimes even on our heads, and stand very still and we would soon have lorikeets flocking to feed off of us. We'd sit little pieces of raw meat along the railing of the verandah and wait for the kookaburras to come and have their meal with us too. My grandmother would often times spend the morning baking and we would eat biscuits warm from the oven. My grandfather, Tom, was quite simply a cranky old bastard. He would sit in his chair on the verandah and bark orders at his wife and make the most inapporpriate jokes. I actually picture him sitting there with a pair of underwear on his head, not just a ridiculous mental image but a memory.

Dulcie remained married to Tom for far too many years. He was an abusive father when his children were young and most likely an abusive husband. He was never a kind man in my own eyes, nor many of his grandchildren's. For most of my life I've known him as "Crank". She did eventually leave him, a very brave move (in my opinion) from a woman growing up in the era she did. I think by that stage they had been married for the better part of 40years. After their divorce Crank remarried, Dulcie never has.

I saw Crank only twice, that I can remember, with his next wife. The first was at one of my cousin's wedding. The second was about two years after that at another cousin's 21st birthday party. On this second occasion I had my 8mth old son with me, Crank's first born great-grandchild. On seeing my son the only comment that dear old Crank made was that my son "took after his father, he's an ugly buggar." I think it was at this time I really decided that I didn't care for a relationship with him at all. He passed away several years ago from bowel cancer. I didn't shed a tear and didn't attend the funeral.

In complete contrast Dulcie was one of the first to call me in hospital when I had Little boy. She was also among the first to send a present, a small silver money box engraved for my son. While I don't see her very much, she remains my favourite grandparent and is always thought of with nothing other than love. I travelled, with my Dad and sisters, up to celebrate her 80th birthday last year. She's frail and showing the signs of her age much more now, but she is happy and continues to smile. I'm glad that Little Boy has had a few chances to meet and enjoy his great-grandmother's company.

These are the people who gave life to my father and raised him. I know and have seen the impact they have had on him over the years, both the positives and the negatives. While I haven't had a close relationship with them I am of course thankful for many things they are responsible for.