Find Middle Ground

If we could name what we have,
Would it make any more sense?
I have said not to ask why or what,
To simply accept what is before us!
I do believe that some things just are,
There is no why nor a need to know a why!
This, unfortunately, does not stop us from asking!

At times I'm compelled to strive harder,
An inner force pulling me towards him.
An indescribable belief in something buried within.
Yet every fibre of my consciousness is retreating,
My walls are being rebuilt to preserve my well-being.
Could it simply be that I have more to learn,
Although my strength and convictions are undoubtedly waning!

As much as I know exactly what I want,
I am only in control of half of us!
My thoughts must remain focused,
Providing for Little Boy is all that matters!
I can not continue being torn apart,
Nor can I continue to place my heart at risk.
Time is too short and the price may just be too high!