Surviving the Days ... and the Weeks and the Torment.


Words I write don't necessarily make sense to you... I don't expect them to, maybe I don't even want them to... The thoughts are written fragmented and incomplete! I do not write for any form of external validation.. What you read may not have the same meaning as what I write... But do not underestimate the personal significance of my words! An essential part of who I am is only evident in my writing... It had been locked away after it was used against me... Everything you need, in order to hurt me, is right here!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Is there anybody up there?

I mentioned Middle Sis was here with bub a little while ago, the following is a snippet of conversation had at the dinner table with Little Boy and myself...

MS: He's an angel! (speaking about bub)

LB: There's no such thing!

MS: yes there is, he's my angel from heaven.

LB: That's a myth!

Me: why do you say that?

LB: Because ads are never true!


Ferrero Roche isn't all that convincing apparently.

*Edit: tried to find the ad he was thinking of and this is as close as I came, who needs english anyway ;)

Friday, March 20, 2009

A Few Months Later

So it's now March so I decided to update on how my New Year "goals/resolutions" are going...

1. Blog more here, purely for my own benefit of getting the writing happening again and to have things down in words to be able to look back on.

I've decided that Twittering is kinda like blogging so I haven't failed on this one yet...

2. Make MUCH more effort to see/speak to a couple of friends I hardly saw in the last year.

Hmm okay so this one I haven't started out too well, seem to be having trouble catching up but definitely still working on it so it's not a fail yet...

and 3. Keep the relationships with all of my sisters and my Mum as strong if not stronger than they are now, and enjoy as much time as possible with my new niece and nephew.

This one's an easier one. Littlest sis has moved out now but we still talking lots, middle sis has been up again recently with my nephew which was fun. Oldest sis actually let me babysit my niece last week (they've never before left her with anyone, ever!) and I didn't even get overwhelmed with texts/calls to check on little one's well being so that was a bonus!

So guess it's not going too bad and since Twitter is counted as blogging I'm not feeling the need to force myself to write here and will only do so when I really want/need to. Speaking of twitter, it has given me a brand new appreciation of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore absolutely loving them on there! Just thought I'd mention it...

Oh and another thing, you just must check out F*** My Life* if you haven't already...

*Wow, it's been that long that I struggled to remember enough HTML to even do that link, that's just sad.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Out There on the Ice

So I finally caved and bought myself an MP3 player a couple of weeks ago and since I figured it was time for another post (but it's too hot right now to actually think of something original) I decided to do this music Meme Phil did a while back. It made me laugh a couple of times and cringe once or twice but I followed the rules anyway...


1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Mean (Pink)

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
She Loved Like Diamond (Spandau Ballet)

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Voices in Quartz (Cut Copy)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Girl Trouble (Violent Femmes)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Suspicious Minds (Elvis Presley)

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Keep on Movin' (Bob Marley)

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Living Type (Powderfinger)

8.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Conversations With My 13 Year Old Self (Pink)

9. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
The World (Empire of the Sun)

10 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
[You're the] Devil in Disguise (Elvis Presley)

11.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE/LOVE?
Superwoman (Alicia Keys)

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Gas Hed Goes West (Live)

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?)
Make Me Pure (Robbie Williams)

14 WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE/LOVE?
Let Me Die Young (Taxiride)

15 WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
I'm Free [Heaven Helps the Man] (Kenny Loggins)

16. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' (Akon/Michael Jackson)

17 What will they play at your funeral?
Where Do We Go From Here (Alicia Keys)

18. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Better Than (John Butler Trio)

19 WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Lightning Crashes (Live)

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Tripping (Robbie Williams)

21. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Shit Towne (Live)

22. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Who The Cap Fit (Bob Marley)

23. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET
Gunning Down Romance (Savage Garden)

24. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Good Doctor (Robbie Williams)

25. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Add It Up (Violent Femmes)

26 WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
That's All (Michael Buble)

27.DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
The One That Got Away (Pink)

28 IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
A Thing About You (Roxette)

29 WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
It's Alright (Craig Mack/Sista)

30 WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Out There on the Ice (Cut Copy)

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Today's blog brought to you by the letter T...

I put my hand up for a meme at Bitzky's place it was harder than I thought it'd be but here it is...

How this memetic works is that you leave a comment on this post, and I’ll assign you a letter. Then you write about ten things you love that begin with your assigned letter, and post it at your place. When people comment on your list, you give them a letter, and the chain continues on and on.

I was assigned the letter T, "love" might be too strong a word for some of these but they are definitely a part of my life every day...

Time, most often I'd love to have more of this (like when my alarm goes off in the morning after the third snooze and I realise if I hit that button just one more time there's a whole chain reaction that will have me out of whack and out of time for the rest of the day) and yet there are some times when enough is enough (like when you get a call 5min before the end of your shift at work and it then takes 15min to get that person off the phone but by the time you realised it was one of "those" calls there's not a damn thing you can do about it, or about getting yourself 10min closer to the train station).

Talking, yes I'm a woman of course I love to talk but I also love to listen to other people talking. Playing a game with Little Boy that informed us; the average guy speaks just 2000 words per day whereas the average woman speaks 7000, I have a very competitive nature but I think it's safe (and fair) to say that I perform well above average in this field. I'll talk to almost anyone and if no one wants/is around to listen I'll settle for talking to myself.

Telephones, they go hand in hand with talking. I learnt another little fact (this one courtesy of Libra, TMI I know but too bad) that the average person will spend a total of two years of their life on the phone. Again I'm pretty sure I sit well above average on this one since I spend my working hours constantly on the phone and then there's the several calls a week (day?) to either one of my sister's or my mum, let alone everyone else.

Tapping, I can't help it I tap my fingers or feet almost constantly, whether there's music or not or whether I'm actually bored or not. Perhaps I'm a touch OCD with a dash of ADD thrown in (there are other signs too) for good measure. I also find myself typing (which I'm calling a form of tapping) in time to music if it is on.

Two, Ten and Thirteen, plain old numbers and yet they play a part in my everyday. I count a lot of things in my head throughout the day and while it may not be a continuous count I will usually finish it to the nearest ten if possible. I also have a thing with even numbers, I have to have anything with a volume control on a number divisible by 2. Which can become annoying at night when everything seems so loud and the TV is too loud on 4 and too quiet on two, I only sometimes make exceptions. As for thirteen, it's an odd number and it's a prime number, it doesn't fit with either of the above or their reasoning and yet I like it, go figure! (is all this just another OCD sign?)

Thoughtfulness, it can be a rare thing to see these days but it really touches me when someone truly has thought about what they are doing and are just being nice! Something as simple as a colleague at work grabbing me a can of coke on their break is much appreciated. Or it could be Little Boy who one night went to bed with the feeling he'd forgotten something but was unable to remember what it was... until about 5am when he thoughtfully woke me up to tell me he'd remembered what it was he'd forgotten to do and that as a result he'd been out the back to collect his toy car.

Teasing, in a playful way of course. I can't help but tease people especially the really gullible (some might say I'm a smart-arse or even a bitch at times). I had Little Boy almost convinced that invisible power lines were being trialled beside the train line not too far from here and I've threatened to dress as a clown and pick him up from school smothering him with kisses and cuddles (he was intrigued by the first but not too phased by the idea of the latter). I jump on (Freudian) slips of the tongue and I endlessly pay out anyone who makes a public fool of themselves (mostly my 19yr old sis who has made it a habit to get obscenely drunk and embarrass herself).

My last doesn't start with T but it has three of them in it...

On Top - Eternal Erection, the best $5 CD I've ever bought and if I'd known how good they were I definitely would have paid more. As it was I bought it purely for the name of the group but it quickly became one of my all time fave cd's. They're from Finland and they even look cool! Mind you I was a little hesitant walking up to the young guy in JB asking if they had any eternal erection... it took him several seconds of smothering an emerging grin and gaining a voice before he asked me "sorry, what?". http://www.eternalerection.com/ or http://www.myspace.com/eternalerection they're worth the look!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Another year goes by...

Okay so 2008 was the year of the bad blog mojo and I'm hoping 2009 is a little different. It's already half-way through January but I'm going to start the new blog year out with a wrap up of the last... (in point form 'cause mojo still absent, baby steps! ;-) )

* So I started the year out in a relatively new home for me and then I finished the year moving again. Still in same general sort of area but instead of a walk to school for the boy it's a coupla buses. I really like this new house and paying the extra $50 or so a week has been worth it.

* Halfway through 2008 I decided to give up looking after other people's kids and go out and get a "real" job that pays more. As it turned out I got the first job I interviewed for, which was good because I realllly wanted it. I've always worked for myself or in relatively small businesses/offices in the past so being a lowly pleb for a multinational is interesting. (and it came in handy when I was forced at short notice to look for a new rental and pay more for it, as I mentioned above)

* Little Boy has handled the changes really well and is growing up so quickly before my eyes every day. It's scary to think that in one more short year he will be off to high school!

* 2008 was also the year of the baby, I welcomed a niece in April and a nephew in October and Little Boy welcomed a sister in July. More news of babies on the way for this year too with my brother expecting his second child and Little Boy expecting twin brothers (yes, LB's father and his gf are mad! She fell pregnant a mere 6weeks after having her first bub). For me it's been a chance to see what motherhood does for two of my sisters, as well as enjoy the pleasure of babies and the joy of being able to hand them back!

* At the beginning of 2008 I got to see some of Tassie with my Mum and I had hoped to see the Northern Territory with my father but had to postpone that trip and ultimately cancel it since Dad and his wife are on the move again and have left the desert.

* For most of the year I've also had the new experience of living with my youngest sister (only other time I've lived with her she was only a toddler). I'm pleased to say that as yet we STILL have not had any sort of fight, maybe her spending two months in Europe and away helped in that matter though...

* In November my brother married his gf of 2-3 years and they told us their baby news. I'm sad to say this didn't evoke the joy and excitement in me that I'd have hoped for. Basically the entire year has been a growing apart time for us and I'm at the point where I care less and less. I predict that there will be pretty much no contact with him within 6-9months.

So that's the main thing's I think I'll remember bout the past year. I generally don't make New Years Resolutions but decided this year there was a few things that I wanted to make a point of doing...

1. Blog more here, purely for my own benefit of getting the writing happening again and to have things down in words to be able to look back on.

2. Make MUCH more effort to see/speak to a couple of friends I hardly saw in the last year.

and 3. Keep the relationships with all of my sisters and my Mum as strong if not stronger than they are now, and enjoy as much time as possible with my new niece and nephew.



That's pretty much it, I'm enjoying where I'm at and I intend to keep doing so!

Apologies for boring you (if anyone's out there still) to tears... but get used to it, apparently I'll be doing it more often!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Next...



The butterflies are already in my stomach, fluttering

The next chapter is about to begin

For the first time in so long it is about me

While he may not be happy just now, he can and will adapt

He will realise it is for the better for both of us

Spring is upon us and the flowers begin to bloom

Definitely time for change and it's in full swing

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Gifting Meme

Photobucket


For those who read Ben's blog you may remember her posting about receiving her gift a little while ago and asking for three bloggers wanting to join the fun. I put my hand up and early last week (yeah I've been slow and slack!) I received my package from Ben and had so much fun opening it and going through all the little bits and pieces.

It arrived on a day that had been terrible from the moment I got out of bed. By late afternoon I was ready to tear shreds off the next person I came into contact with so when I heard the knock on the door I was worried. As it turned out I was probably lucky I didn't reach for the jugular straight away as the very nice postman handed me my package from Ben. I actually sent a curious Little Boy to his room so that I could take pleasure in opening it without the constant chatter. As I pulled the little bags out of the package and saw one specifically for Little Boy I put it to the side for him to open himself. He was so surprised and happy to be included, he couldn't get over the fact that he'd got a present from someone on the other side of the world who he'd never met. It was such a great lift for my entire day and week!

So now it's my turn, here's the deal folks I will send packages to the first three of you to leave me a message and who promise to pay it forward as well. You don't have to spend big, you just have to be willing to send a little fun to three of your blog friends when it comes your turn. I'll need postal addresses so send me an email to miss_blue79@hotmail.com if you're interested!

Now let's just hope there's still three of you out there...